If you cut me, do I not bleed?

Listen, Japanese girls... if you're gonna text on your cell phones while riding your bikes INSTEAD of paying mind to the pedestrians, nearly running into them (me)... THIS pedestrian is going to push you over.

ENGRISH OF THE DAY

(courtesy of Katie Nuñez)

"Satisfactory taste"

( "hey, how's that taste, is it good?"

"Meh, satisfactory..." )

Walk Like A Man.

So. I don't know WHY. But a good fifth (at least) of the women I've see here walk pigeon legged... Also, they wear heels ALL the time, and they're usually a good 2 or 3 (western) sizes too big for them (I specify "western" because the shoe sizes here are S M L... which may account for the awkward sizing--although, if the store doesn't carry their size, they don't HAVE to buy them... but I digress). When we asked our translator if that was a cultural thing (do they think it's cute or something), she replied, "No, they're just STUPID!"

Today, a tube top, spotted at the cheapy clothing store WeGo:

"Good Dog Agility - Arizona"

Apparently Arizonian dogs are osteoporosis and arthritis free... Who knew...?

Que?

"I DON'T like spring" (?)

With that smile and those outstretched arms...? I'm convinced...

Ryokan

Nick and I are going to stay here when we go to Kyoto. It's a traditional Japanese inn, with the paper walls, where the lady in the kimono brings you tea, and you sleep on mats on the floor, and there are beautiful gardens and baths... I can't wait!

kyoto-ryokan.co.jp

Jimmy Buffett, you really have no idea...

Today started out lovely. I made some pancakes! And talked to my big little brother on Skype, which was so nice! We were trying to work out flight arrangements for him to come visit me. Since I got paid today for the first time (thank GOD), I was going to use the salary to front the money for his ticket here, as well as Nick's, as to not miss out on the still relatively low ticket prices.

HA, well.

Michael found a ticket for $500 something plus about $200 for taxes... came up to about $710 or something like that... GREAT! Well... when he clicked on it, it JUMPED up immediately to about $1000 plus. Then we both started navigating to the other fare websites, and couldn't find anything for less than $900... what happened to $700, even $800??

So here's what that means, being that I'm fronting the money and I only got paid $2899 for the first month (freakin taxes...), if I end up having to pay $1100 per ticket, give or take, that's roughly $2200, leaving me with $699 to pay bills and what ever else. Is it manageable? Yes. But that's a ROUGH estimate, and if the prices go up AGAIN, i'm most likely SCREWED.

So I start to panic a little. I have my brother continue to search for tickets while I call the Japanese Citibank to wire money from my account here to my account in the states... which is ALSO silly, because I bank with Citibank in the states... but instead of linking the accounts, I have to wire (which costs money...) because APPARENTLY it's not the same company... ridiculous. Oh, and the card they gave me for my account is just a withdrawal/deposit card, not a charge card, which is why i have to wire it to my American account in the first place.

SO I'm on the phone with citibank, trying to navigate through their (pain.in.the.ass) automative menu, when I finally get an operator. SHE tells me I have to fill out a FORM for the account I want to wire to... which I can do by MAIL!
What? Mail? I need it today!
Oh, ok, well then you can go to the branch and fill out the form there.
So there's nothing you can do over the phone, i have to go there?
No, nothing, sorry. And make sure you get there by 3pm.

But it's 2:10pm now... I'll never make it... (this is where i start to get frustrated and cry... if i can't get this done today who knows what the ticket prices will look like tomorrow) Ok, so where is the closest branch to me?
Blah blah blah places I have no idea where they are, SOMEWHERE in the tokyo area... which is like saying somewhere in Los Angeles county...
Um, I have no idea where any of those places are... (meanwhile the clock is ticking)
She tries to help me, but I can't really understand what she's saying because of her accent... I ask her to spell the address, but that isn't helpful either...
Ok, thank you, I'll figure it out

I went to the website and quickly tried to study the map of the station and figure out where I have to go once I get there. I run downstairs, without even brushing my teeth or grabbing a jacket... forGET a shower... I missed the bus by a minute and a half... so I RUN the whole way to the station (which is about 2 miles)

By this time it's raining.

I get there, try to ask the station attendant which way Chiba Station is... he tells me which line, but not which way... I look at the map and don't see anything that says "Chiba Station"... I switch platforms a couple times, going up and down the stairs, trying to decide which is the way. The lady said there was one at Tokyo station... I'll never make it though... and Tokyo station is HUGE, who KNOWS which exit it's at...

I email a couple people I know who know their way around here, hoping they'll help me. I try to navigate the browser on my blackberry, but I can't read the tiny tiny print because at this point I'm completely in TEARS. At this point I KNOW I'm not going to make it by 3... but there is a late night hour... I'm out here already, I may as well try to go, even if my request won't be processed til tomorrow, at least I'll have all the paperwork and red tape taken care of...

STILL RAINING...

STILL can't figure out where the hell Chiba Station is... eventually my friends mail me back, but it looked like i was gonna have to transfer trains... WHAT? that must be far then... Kasey tells me about a Citibank that's closer than that, so I try there... but now that I have my wits about me, I go back to the Citibank website on my Black Berry and find that it's not one of the branches that has evening hours. So I WILL have to go back tomorrow. Well, I may as well find out where it is so I know where I'm going tomorrow...

After much wandering around, I finally found it. Ok. So I head back to the station to get home...

And my subway card isn't working... SERIOUSLY??? SERIOUSLY???? i stand in line, PRAYING that someone speaks english (knowing they won't), eventually he pointed me in the direction of another kiosk, where they WERE able to help me, I STILL couldn't tell you what was wrong with my card, but it's fixed now...

What a dumb dumb day. Mom ended up booking my brother's flight and I'll pay her back so at least I have ONE ticket done, and if the ticket prices DO go up again, I won't be TOTALLY screwed...

Shouchu (alcohol) makes this day more tolerable.

And I suppose I inadvertently got some cardio... AND stumbled upon some products that I can make mexican food with at the International Market! So there we go, lemonade.

And all that drama aside, I can't WAIT for my brother and Nick to come here! Ugh I can't WAIT!!

Ok, and now for some

ENGRISH OF THE DAY!

Papa Paparazzi.

The fans here are really intense. The Gaijin (foreigners--so Americans, Australians, and British) are practically celebrities to them. They follow us to the subway platform. They find out our names and facebook friend us. They get the dancers email addresses and try to turn them against their OTHER fans, making up lies about them and claiming that T

HEY, indeed, are the number one fan... They even have a website that posts who was in

what show, usually calling us by name. One of the sites knows my name, but the other one calls me the dark haired girl or something like that.

I take off my make up and let my weave fro out before I go home a

s to not attract too much attention (i wear a short wig in the show). Although it WOULD be nice to get pictures of the show, if someone took some bootleg style, apparently Kasey had an obsessed fan one year who left her husband and kids for him (he, who is gay, btw), after never having said a word to him in person. He had to be driven home in a company car. She'd show up at EVERY show, sometimes so happy, and sometimes BAWLING in the front row... they were CERTAIN she'd just hop on stage one day, in which case the plan was to just EVACUATE the stage mid-show. In the end, she may have taken her own life when she realized it wasn't

going to happen bet

ween them... all he knows is she went from coming every day to all 5 shows, to never again...

While most of the fans are just enthusiastic, it only takes that one crazy

to ruin it, so I'm not adding any of them on facebook. I'm going through a friend purging anyway, I've just got too many acquaintances and people I don't care to be connected to.

**********************

I started a picture website for those of you non-facebookers:

http://michellehernandez.myphotoalbum.com

Do check out the Cherry Blossoms, they are just BEAUTIFUL! Plenty more mischief to come... and maybe some sites... you know.

*********************

ENGRISH OF THE DAY!

(I'll throw in a few since I've been absent)

This is the poem for the 3 coins store... it's essentially the $3 store... wow.

"The English Custom of taking afternoon tea was invented by the Duchess of Bedford."

Wow, now THERE'S a fun fact I could have lived without...

And this isn't so much Engrish as it is just awkward. Only in Japan would my serve ware wink at me...

Ugh, I'm sorry.

I've been absent. The show opened this week, and kiiiids, I am tiiiiired...

Last night I fell asleep with my disney ID still around my neck.

The night before that I got lost on a bus.

A couple days before THAT I purchased a hat, and promptly lost it, still in the bag I purchased it in...

Tonight we had an Easter dinner that somehow went terribly south of the true meaning of easter... yow...

It's been a crazy week.

No Engrish tonight.

But perhaps you will sleep well knowing that half of my cast was last seen at the train station running from a crazed fan who'd been waiting for them... Welcome to Japan!